Whiter than White

Jasper Moxey and Jeeves Moxey of Redfern

2010-04-09T16:14:00.002+10:00

The two hounds faithfully guarding Redfern House.

2010-03-24T08:24:00.001+11:00

Google Dictionary

2009-12-04T20:07:00.001+11:00

I tried Google Dictionary, and isn't it just the right amount of dictionary on one page?

Rain

2009-11-22T16:47:00.002+11:00

A very good song.

The deck is oiled

2009-11-15T14:06:00.001+11:00

Local Artists Adorn Building

2009-10-30T12:21:00.003+11:00

My talented bretheren again find time, paint and the wherewithall to adorn another building in the Surry Hills/Redfern area. God Bless their inventiveneess.

Local Wit

2009-06-05T13:17:00.000+10:00

I never tire of the inventiveness and wit of my neighbours in Surry Hills

A Tribute To Victoria

2009-05-28T20:20:00.006+10:00

A dearest friend turned a significant age a few weeks ago.

In tribute, this tone poem pays homage to her. I acknowledge all those who contributed to this work, and thank them for their inspiration, courage and vigour.

Preferred Carrier

2009-05-06T18:00:00.000+10:00

Karlfest endorses Qantas Airways for all routes

Red Cross

2009-02-22T14:29:00.000+11:00

Antho does his bit in Melbourne

The Streets Of Whistler

2009-02-09T16:16:00.001+11:00

Two Snow Bunnies wander The Streets Of Whistler. Karlfest celebrates Catherine Howes' mastery of the snow '09.

stone

2009-02-07T18:06:00.000+11:00

House Double

2009-01-23T19:17:00.001+11:00

Stand in for the popular US tv show lead in Australia.

Long Service Tart

2009-01-12T15:05:00.000+11:00

Klaus Allwicher celebrates 10 years in the business by baking a fine fruit flan.

World's Smallest Floss

2008-11-24T17:44:00.000+11:00

Tiny floss found in Sydney Australia. 'Thing' from 'Addams Family' seen in background.

King's Beach

2008-11-01T11:00:00.000+11:00

Glorious King's Beach in Byron Bay NSW

Thai Take Out

2008-10-12T09:18:00.000+11:00

Crown Street Surry Hills

A Pizza Is Born

2008-09-17T19:07:00.000+10:00

Birthplace of the inner city's finest pizza. Chef Luigi and associate create another gorgeous creation at 'Crust' on Crown St Surry Hills.

Tom & Bruce??

2008-08-15T13:14:00.001+10:00

Conclusive proof that The Dark Night and The Tank Engine are more than just 'great mates'. The couple of characters were snapped leaving a popular Sydney night spot 'The Manhole' in the early hours of monday morning.

Steve Balmer

2008-08-09T14:41:00.004+10:00

Steve Balmer, mystifies everyone with his magic spells.

Dictation Station

2008-08-08T14:43:00.001+10:00

Birthplace of Dragon 10

Soft Toys Terrorist Threat

2008-08-08T09:08:00.001+10:00

Hundreds of celebrity animated characters were detained at a North Sydney shopping mall earlier this week. Mall security cite 'suspicious behaviour' as the reason for holding the 547 Time Warmer characters, most of whom were in Sydney for World Youth Day.

Nuance Christmas Lunch

2008-08-01T15:31:00.001+10:00

Staff enjoy the annual christmas outing.

My QR Code

2008-07-26T19:03:00.001+10:00

Dr Who - Theme Music

2008-07-22T09:35:00.001+10:00

Ron Grainer and the BBC Radiophonic Workshop. I used to scream as a toddler when Dr Who started each 5.30 in the evening on ABC in Perth, WA Australia in the 60s. The most atmospheric and scary of themes. The primitive video effects didn't help either....

Author's Great Gandfather

2008-07-22T07:32:00.003+10:00

Va bene Nonno.

Pope in Surry Hills

2008-07-19T13:56:00.001+10:00

A pilgrimage to see His Highness Ben #16 goes past this blog's author's home in the inner city . This photo is further proof of the church's extreme conservative political agenda.

Pilgrims attacking innocent residents

2008-07-19T13:55:00.001+10:00

Hordes of frenzied catholic zealot youth descend on an innocent local Protestant

city rail network

2008-07-12T12:52:00.000+10:00

Revolutionary new data networking at North Sydney station.
Is this 'the cloud'?

What's missing in my life?

2008-06-23T17:32:00.004+10:00

My life has no element that corresponds to this picture.
Go figure.

Karlfest

2008-04-26T08:43:00.000+10:00

In a rare sighting this blog's author seen leaving an office building in Australia

CCTV at Nuance

2008-04-11T16:10:00.000+10:00

Nuance communications instigates harsh new surveillance measures

this is my lounge

2008-03-27T05:44:00.000+11:00

the jesus of Tuggeranong

2007-12-15T07:00:00.000+11:00

Denise McKeon asked me what i blog about. It's about things like this. Jesus is back.

Cup Rockin'

2007-11-10T11:30:00.000+11:00

Plastic cups so eloquentley placed in this inner city apartment block parking lot fence.

Wing Sings in SF

2007-11-04T07:10:00.000+11:00

Wing finds herself an audience in the US. A San Francisco music store features her album. Viva Wing.

Laughing Executive

2007-10-22T11:48:00.001+10:00

Steve Ballmer, Chief Executive Officer of Microsoft Corporation, laughs at the Web. 2.0 Summit in San Francisco.

Bollywood

2007-10-21T20:02:00.000+10:00

This speaks to me on so many levels. I have no explanation.

The Worm Is Turning

2007-10-21T19:49:00.000+10:00

My two Prime Ministerial candidates are debating. Oh my. The worm is not working for John Howard.

Luncheon at The Hyperdome

2007-10-14T06:55:00.000+10:00

Ladies of Tuggeranong at luncheon.

Deplaning

2007-10-10T05:54:00.000+10:00

I think 'Deplaning' is one of the silliest made up words ever. It's up there with 'incentivize'. Definitely a US english word.

Disturbing

2007-10-07T14:02:00.000+10:00

October 7th, Crown Street Surry Hills, Sydney Australia.

A bustop features a witty billboard ad for the MCA (Museum of Contemporary Art) in Sydney. I find the feet disturbing. How tough her heels must be. I was compelled to capture the pain and her calloused stumps. Would she 'clatter' down a hard wood floor, or maybe 'clomp'?

The sales are on at Tuggeranong

2007-10-07T06:10:00.000+10:00

Flashy marketing ideas at The Hyperdome.

Logic on a Darlinghurst Street

2007-10-06T12:44:00.001+10:00

Lunch time, October 6th. Darlinghurst, Sydney..

--
karlfest@gmail.com

Famous People are now reading Karlfest

2007-09-16T22:16:00.001+10:00

Sean Penn and Clive Owen are two actors who may have read 'Whiter than White' in the recent past.

NRMA Insurance Woes

2007-08-16T10:15:00.000+10:00

A recent letter to my insurer....Beware of Customer Atrophy

Hi

I've been your customer for some time now. Over the last few months the level of service I've been receiving is making me think of changing companies.

It's mainly to do with the level of expectation you're creating in your customer service, which does not match what actually happens.

So, I've had a claim with you for some storm damage, and have had NRMA make some promises to me as a customer that I think you have not kept, across a range of activities.

First, on the IVR system, I rang to start my claim, during working hours, and I was advised by the recorded voice to leave my contact details and that NRMA would respond/call me back within I think, maybe 48 hours, or two days or something like that. After over a week no one returned my call despite the explicit message on the phone that NRMA would.

Some weeks later I rang again, got the same message, and again left my details. Over a week went by and no one from NRMA returned my call, again.

I emailed NRMA, and then got a response from them (someone called back), so thanks to the email people...

My claim got underway.

Next, I was told an assessor would come out to do an assessment. I had water come through the ceiling and through two rooms and through two floors. He turned up as promised, and made an assessment that the damage may or may not be due to the storm, and that he would need to get someone out to go on/into the roof to determine if it was storm damage. At no stage did he go on the roof.

He gave me the expectation that if it was not storm damage, that we would likely not get insurance coverage to repair whatever the problem was, but that we would get coverage to fix up some minor damage inside the room where the damage was visible ( a bit of painting, bit of plastering, very minor). I was quite ok with the idea that if it was not damage caused by the storm then I would have to do my own repairs to the roof. The assessor said he would get someone to go on/in the roof and determine if it was storm damage or not, in the next week or two.

That was about 2 months ago.

So, your representative has given me the expectation that they would examine the roof to see if there was storm related damage or not, and that I would then know if it was storm related or not.

Three or four days later I received a letter from NRMA saying that the claim had been cancelled because my policy did not cover water coming in from non storm related damage. I rang that day, and told your agent that the assessor had not yet examined the roof, the assessment was not yet completed, and that he would be doing so within the next week or two, and that no determination had been made as to what the issue was, and that no one had actually checked the roof out.

Your agent then said that she would arrange for someone to ring/contact me with the idea that they would finish the assessment correctly.

That has not yet happened, no one from NRMA has contacted me about this.

So, in three instances, your company has made a committment to me as a client, yet failed to deliver on the committment.

1) I am still trying to get the original assessor to complete the assessment as they had promised, and they indeed promise that 'next week' they will contact me. This has been told to me four times now over the two months, the last time being this week.

2) The assessor indicated to me that if it was not storm related, that I would have to pay for my own roof repairs ( ok with me) but that I would be covered for the minor internal work.

3) NRMA told me they would arrange for someone to contact me to clear up the hastily cancelled claim, and complete the roof assessment satisfactorily, but that did not happen

4) And to start with, NRMA told me, by virtue of your Customer Care phone line that they would contact me, but that did not happen.

Look, I know it's no big deal, and nothing really tragic has happened, but I am weary of the customer experience, have no expectations that I will see any assistance from you or your representatives, despite me being fully prepared to pay for all my roofing repairs. What I am really unhappy with is the way that your company makes promises that it breaks.

My name is XXXXXXX

My claim number is #AHUXXXXXXXXX

If you would like to contact me to persuade me to remain your customer, my number is 0555555555.

cheers Karlfest

Modular Moog V

2007-08-12T18:47:00.000+10:00

I've bought Arturia's Modular Moog V and it's fascinating me.
This is what it looks like.

You cannot eject your computer because one of the devices in the docking station, 'Communications Port (COM1)', cannot be stopped right now.

2007-05-23T11:32:00.000+10:00

You cannot eject your computer because one of the devices in the docking station, 'Communications Port (COM1)', cannot be stopped right now. Try closing all applications and ejecting the computer again later.

You try to eject your laptop from your docking station, but you get this error. You cannot see what process is still going. What a hassle. Microsoft support will tell you to install Service Pack 2, and then tell you to get paid support.
If you have ActiveSync, try disabling the 'Allow connections to com port 1' in 'connection settings'. I must have enabled it in panic one day, trying to get ActiveSync to let me use Soti Pocket Controller to do a presentation.

It fixed it.

frog steroids

2006-12-09T19:51:00.000+11:00

Ecologists worldwide are noticing a disturbing trend in the earth's amphibian population. Pollution, global warming and the human race are all encroaching on the natural habitat of the planet's amphibians, especially the humble frog. Some species have reacted in retaliation, by developing a taste for certain trace elements and proteins found in man-made environments, like office buildings. The trace elements and proteins found in office grime are remarkably similar to anabolic steroids, as used by some athletes and body-builders. A recent experiment shows the effects of the 'frog steroids' ingested by a laboratory frog in Sydney, Australia.

Laboratory frog 'Toots' week one.

Toots after three months of frog steroids.

Adoration of the Magi

2006-12-07T09:51:00.000+11:00

So I was in Canberra this week, and happened to be wandering through the Tuggeranong Hyperdome Shopping Complex, bastion of low income consumer behaviour and haunt of un-wed teen mothers..

In the middle I spied 'The Tuggeranong Nativity', which I found astounding, because it had the largest Baby Jesus I have ever seen. In comparison to the rest of the adult cast, The Tuggeranong Jesus might, in real life, be up to 5`2".

The 'Big Jesus' of Tuggeranong draws thousands of shoppers to wonder at the beauty and sheer gargantuan nature of the Christ child. It may classify as a 'miracle'. If anything, it might also warrant some response from Rome, as I'm sure this Jesus must contravene some official Vatican measurements.

Jared and Yamin's Travels: Yami's real Bub-Bye

2006-07-14T18:19:00.000+10:00

Jared and Yamin's Travels: Yami's real Bub-Bye
I missed it, but Yamin is off around the world with Jared. Now, who's Jared? Let's see more posts, pics and news from you both

jeff

Beta.last.fm

2006-06-28T22:07:00.000+10:00

So I joined. I had to, it was the only way to see the new beta.last.fm site

Excellent CGI sequenced thingy

2006-06-20T15:24:00.000+10:00

This is pretty wild stuff. Damn computers, what will they think of next?~!

Lemon Cafe

2006-06-17T14:53:00.000+10:00

Eggs Benedict. The amazing special breakfast, from the very special Lemon Cafe 393 Crown Street Surry Hills NSW 2010 Australia (preferred cafe and food source).

nb spinach and avocado.

Enjoyed by Karlfest, Sat 17th June 2006.

Catherine needs to go shopping.

2006-06-15T16:31:00.000+10:00

My Dear Friend Catherine for lunch today, had...
"Hideous poorman's lunch of pasta with egg and cheese."
She needs to go shopping.

karfest

Let's Massive Speakers!

2006-06-15T11:50:00.000+10:00

An amazing set of japanese desktop speakers which suffered scope creep in the design stage.

Note to self. Always include measurements at the beginning of the project.

karlfest

Pandora FM mash

2006-06-02T19:39:00.000+10:00

http://pandorafm.real-ity.com/

Absolutely the last plug I do for www.last.fm

2006-05-31T22:23:00.000+10:00

So you can also do geeky things like post your recently listened to charts on a website, like you can see on the right side of this window. This might be deemed arrogance, but there you go.

Again, that's www.last.fm.

www.last.fm one more time

2006-05-30T15:33:00.000+10:00

So, to get this thing recognised, I'm posting to my own blog via email

www.last.fm

My playlist, what I'm listening to *right now* is
www.last.fm/user/karlfest

Wonderful music service. Online radio. You get to define what you listen to, I think, so far. Last.fm radio player seems to sound pretty good too.

I hope I got the URL right.

______________________________

Tags..last.fm

Music and www.last.fm

2006-05-30T15:14:00.000+10:00

So, if I started a band, I'd call it 'Image Not Available'.

This is fun. See what I listen to. Brilliant. And there's jazz.
www.last.fm/user/karlfest

Technorati tags include Nuance, music, radio and www.last.fm.

Nuance buys Nuance

2006-05-14T12:08:00.000+10:00

I wonder how long it will be before this post collects comments.
ScanSoft, leading supplier of speech recognition technologies, bought Nuance Communications, leading supplier of speech recognition technologies, and decided to keep the Nuance brand.

So, ScanSoft Inc. is now Nuance Communications Inc, leading supplier of speech recognition technologies.

Of course, all this happened last year.

Technorati Tags. Nuance, speech recognition, ScanSoft

tracking, tagging and searching

2006-04-27T19:44:00.000+10:00

How many times would I need to include the terms 'speech recognition', 'speech recognition' and 'speech recognition', for this post to register on a search engine?
Not only this, but 'voice user interface design', 'voice recognition' and 'vui design'.
Now, let's wait and see....

A Real Karlfest

2006-04-06T09:09:00.000+10:00

I knew, somewhere, there'd be another Karlfest .
Who'd have thought it was about beer?

UNSW grafts child's head to salad bowl

2006-03-28T22:36:00.000+11:00

At last, graphic evidence that head transplants are viable. Researchers from the University of New South Wales have succesfully forged a baby's head onto a supporting bionic structure that allows the child full mobility, albeit with limited range (battery life restricts the infant's movements to only a few hundred feet at a time).

"Creepy" has even spoken a few words, according to Errol Baxter, post graduate student, responsible for creating the groundbreaking prosthesis.

Max W

2006-03-23T21:12:00.000+11:00

IMG_36981
Originally uploaded by maxw.

Another in the Max series of photos from Flickr. I like this, it pleases me. Whatever

Max Dupain Homage

2006-03-23T21:09:00.000+11:00

Max Dupain Homage
Originally uploaded by jeffbart.

Anthony and I went to the beach in Italy, which is not as simple as it sounds, because mostly the beachs are private, as Berlusconi has sold them all to his friends. This one was no exception. We couldn't sit at the 'nice' beach, we had to 'move on' to the 'public part'

Whilst dozing on the Tuscany coast, this photo occured.

A Sandringham Event

2006-03-04T12:05:00.000+11:00

At the Sandringham, on Wednesday 1 March, I saw an acoustic rendering of Dragon songs. I think it's called "Sunshine to Rain". I think it's on Liberation
Here's what it looked like when the musicians weren't there..grace a ma phone.

Apparently there's a CD coming out of Dragon songs done by this band. Todd Hunter, Marc Williams I recognised, the guitarist and drummer I didn't.
technorati tags..

Group Rupert

2006-02-12T13:53:00.000+11:00

Group Rupert, possibly one of the most influential blogs online today.

I Know A Real Author

2005-12-11T16:18:00.000+11:00

I know someone who's actually had a book published. Really, no crap. The author is Debbie Kruger, her book is called Songwriters Speak, and the image of the cover is from her website, and me linking to it will drive her crazy.

Homage to Max Dupain

2005-12-11T16:12:00.000+11:00

Several months have passed since last I took bleach to tooth. I've learned to accept that teeth don't necessarily make the man, but they do make his smile look better. And I've found some new tubes.

Recently, my teeth and I went on vacation, where completely by accident we took a photo which resulted in an uncannily similar result to an iconic Australian black and white photo.

Su Doku

2005-07-12T14:28:00.000+10:00

As with the Scrabble, I must learn to beat Catherine at Su Doku. Consistently.

Puzzling Behaviour

2005-07-12T14:17:00.000+10:00

No news on the bleaching front. Last week, during the wine tasting, I noticed a distinct sensitivity along the top left quadrant of my upper set. Is this a freak thing? Is this long term? I also noticed I was unable to solve a reasonably straight forward Su Doku puzzle. Are the two things connected?

Catherine is ferociously churning through Su Doku. She does 'Fiendish' and 'Diabolical'. She just kicked me under the table.

Gain without Pain?

2005-05-13T15:57:00.000+10:00

The bleach usually hurts, like a little hammer hitting against the front of your tooth. Now, there's nothing. As cosmetic-dentistry-as-metaphor-for-life suggests, can there be enlightening without twinge? Gain without pain. Does this lead me to suspect the bleach is no longer working?
Can I no longer trust my procedures will have any incremental effect. Have I gone as white as I can?

Whatever, I have two tubes left.

Debbie can not understand what 'this is all about'. She simply 'doesn't get it'.
Please see www.debbiekruger.com

Missing Link

2005-05-11T22:18:00.000+10:00

My friend Debbie Kruger hates how people link off her site's images. I vow never to do this, especially as I don't know how to....

Christopher Meloni nude pictures....not really.

2005-05-11T21:39:00.000+10:00

How would one drive viewers to one's blog? What if I peppered it with keywords, such as Christopher Meloni nude pictures, hardcore sex photos, or free music, unlimited mp3 downloads.

Hopefully this will collect some odd semblance of an audience, totally unaware of my dental work, stumbling through the net to find this odd rambling of mine.

If you do, leave some grafitti.

Here's a rivetting picture from the Mac tablet pc patent. What a scoop.

My three new teeth feel ok. Now I fear a new cracked bi cuspid.

Topping up

2005-05-11T21:33:00.000+10:00

My sister in law, in mid conversation, asked if I was whitening my teeth. Imagine my joy......

I've started on my second last tube. I felt it was prudent to try and 'top up' just as I got my other dental work completed. Luckily Trevor My Dentist had considered my new 'shade' when he was selecting which 'colour' and what 'hue' he should select for my new 'resurfacings'.

Diedre the Hygienist commented how well I'd been taking care of them. The good news just didn't stop.

I must be careful to not let total whiteness go to my head. Stains may lay just ahead. Oh god. Coffee....And Catherine will surely mock me if I appear too brightly gleaming.

Teeth can have hue too...

2005-05-11T21:23:00.000+10:00

My dentists chatters. To his hygienist, to his nurse, sometimes to me with a numb mouth full of fingers and equipment. As he chattered to his nurse, I learned that teeth stuff, or 'resurfacing', comes in a wide range of colours, hues and brightnesses. Just like computer colours.

I also learned that an old respected dental supplies firm had been bought out by an overseas megalith company. Just like my company had been bought out. Just like we bought out our competitor. It's just a jungle out there. It pays to keep your teeth well flossed and in good condition, you never know when you'll need to strike out hard, bite down hard on the victim's jugular or chomp down on the acquisition's spinal cord, until it stops quivering.

Is this the natural state of things? Can I deduce other wisdom from my dental appointments?

Resurfacing vs Filling

2005-05-11T21:12:00.000+10:00

Recent dental work. Three new 'resurfacings'. That's this century's term for 'filling'. Does this mean my 'fillings' have been replaced, or have I exchanged 'fillings' for 'resurfacings'?

My company announced we'd just 'acquired' another company, our arch rival, our favourite victim...On talking to our Boss across the sea, a colleague of mine used the term 'synergies'. What will be the likely 'synergies' of this merger. The answer devolved into a question of which workers would get the sack, which would stay. I thought my colleague's question had been misinterpreted. On bringing this up later, it seemed it was exactly the question he was asking. Catherine thought it was the first time she'd heard the term 'synergy' as a coy allusion to sackings. I'd never heard it used that way. My colleague countered it was used regularly in that way, that 'synergies' were the benefits that one got from combining two disparate entities, as well as the left overs of the merger....I'd never heard that before, well, not the 'leftovers' bit...

Now I'm worried my 'resurfacings' have not merely replaced my 'fillings', but that some of my old teeth were leftover....

Mid term

2005-04-25T15:03:00.000+10:00

It's been 6 months since I started my drive to whiter teeth. I have fillings scheduled for next friday, I best make sure my new teeth will match whatever I deem will be the colour of my 'newer' teeth. So, the last few tubes of bleach must be used before April 29. I'd rather have brighter fillings than not. Wouldn't you?

Victory

2005-03-11T22:34:00.000+11:00

I forgot to mention it, but I absolutely THRASHED Catherine at Scrabble.

Someone then warned us that playing games at work might not be in the best interest of the company. I argued it's a linguistic exercise.

I haven't really enjoyed work since.

Scrabble as Blood Sport

2005-02-11T22:15:00.000+11:00

oh my GOD the whole scrabble experiment has gone HAYWIRE.
our office is bickering, spelling inconsistencies are dividing us.

I hope I win hee hee.

How Many Choices can One Handle?

2005-01-11T22:13:00.000+11:00

The basic problem revolves around the number of choices we have in life. Should they be limited, grouped together, or doled out one by one? Should they be free-form and open ended? This is my design dilemma. What if I get three 'T's , two 'L's and a blank? What if the caller doesn't know which options they're entitled to?

So many questions......And it's not even my turn yet.

The pressure to develop these dynamic menu choices, and construct a word that garners more than Catherine's 30 average score is ferocious.

A Tangible Result Part One

2004-12-22T10:54:00.000+11:00

At last! Someone noticed my whitened teeth. Phillip noticed they were different. A confirmation that my caustic efforts are paying dividends. I have reached a poignant moment in the process, one where I need to decide - shall I continue down this lightened path? Shall I stop now and remain simply 'lighter'? Shall I become 'Kelvinator White'?
With whom do I align myself? Which teeth do I see myself eating with, smiling with? The reality tv contestants, the youngsters fresh from the cosmetic dentist, or the au natural?

I'll wait for the dulling effects of holiday red wines before I reconsider the bleaching process.

Catherine absolutely thrashed me in Scrabble.

Sensitivity to Reality TV Contestant Smiles....

2004-12-19T13:31:00.000+11:00

I think I now understand what whitening means to me. I know what it can do, and what it can't. It can't get to the roots, as the trays don't reach that far, and the bleach would irritate them if it did. So, it really only affects the surfaces that people see. The teeth essentially are no different to before; it's only how people respond to the visible surface that has changed. My teeth tips only appear different. Deep down they remain the same teeth I started with only weeks before.

That's all well and good, but with only a few syringes left of the precious bleach, how the hell am I going to look like a Californian reality tv contestant?@!? Do I need to accept that I never *will* look like a Californian reality tv contestant, or do I shell out for some stronger bleach? or , god forbid, go the 'Zoom' road? Are brilliantly white teeth exactly the answer to life's problems?

Catherine and I have started a new Scrabble game. I am waiting for some words to appear like 'dentures', 'dazzle' and 'obsession' to appear. Luckly we only have seven tiles to play at any one time.

Many Hands make Light Teeth

2004-12-13T11:03:00.000+11:00

I'm now questioning the product. Shouldn't I by now have Kelvinator White, guess who's mum's got a Whirlpool teeth? I've used up two whole syringes of the Excel caustic crap. It's hurting less, but shouldn't I be experiencing the total white bliss? Again an object lesson in expectations has been forced upon me, at the cost of $AU 462 GST inclusive. Perhaps my judgements should be made at the end, not in the middle, of the treatment. Perhaps I am 'pre judging' it.

Catherine keeps me on my toes, I feel her probing eyes scanning my beige incisors, checking for That Hollywood Look. I must remain natural.

No pain No gain

2004-12-07T13:03:00.000+11:00

I didn't realise that teeth whitening can cause pain. Bleaching can hurt. The smiling happy Pan Americans on the pack don't display how they suffered to get to where they are today. I notice the packaging has no disclaimer. It should read "product use may lead to you seriously questioning the value of whiter-than-white teeth". Was I left to discover this on my own?

The first day of treatment I felt mislead by my smiling friends. Were they gritting their teeth, or does the pain of bleaching simply firm their resolve to get 'the whitest of teeth'?

Destiny

2004-12-07T07:42:00.000+11:00

While discussing the concept of teeth whitening with my friend Catherine, a thought took hold. As metaphor for life, should the bleaching be seen as a natural progression towards a pre-ordained future, or rather the artificial manipulation of life events designed to produce a wholy contrived end result? Is one born with white teeth while others achieve them, or do some have whitening thrust upon 'em? The cover of the "Excel Three: Daytime" kit indicated scarce little in this regard; only a vista of smiling contemporary Pan American people - a black man, an asian woman, a blond lady and a caucasian male, sharing one pearly white vision of dental excellence.

How to Achieve the Perfect Smile

2004-12-06T09:48:00.000+11:00

I ponder the worth of cosmetic dentistry, and decide it needs to be addressed head on, or more likely, jaw on. Day one involved a delicate negotiation with my dentist Trevor. It seems there's two types, the quick, one-session-in-the-chair "Zoom", or the diy bleach kit at home.

We opt for the cheap one. Diedre the New Zealand hygienist, warns me agains bleaching the exposed roots. I take this all on board, and pay the exhorbitant fee.

Cause and Effect

2004-12-05T20:48:00.000+11:00

I've searched for a free blog service because Microsoft announced one. Diversity is an absolute requirement for life on earth, so for this one reason alone Blogger and others like her need to exist.